Letter to the Editor: Toronto Life, July 2015

Bedtime Stories

I’m a Toronto-based therapist with many clients who use Tinder, and I can’t help commenting on your May issue article, “The Bay Street Tinder Diaries.” They tell me it’s a trendy, racy way to meet people as well as a hookup site. Most of them go on it not just for sex but hoping for an emotional connection. If one develops, they seem to feel it’s more of an accomplishment than if they’d used a conventional dating site. If nothing develops, they can fall back on Tinder being a hookup site. It’s sort of like cramming for exams: do well and you look like a genius; do poorly, and you have the face-saving excuse of not having studied until the night before.

This may be a well-guarded secret, but in my practice, I’ve found most people still want a loving and passionate relationship. They default into having multiple partners because it’s better than being constantly disappointed and putting their lives on hold until love happens.

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