I know this guy is a player…

But, we had a great connection and really strong chemistry. Our first date was just so much fun. Why didn’t I hear from him again?

The fact that this man is a known player is very important. It means that in general for some reason he has chosen not to open up that much in romantic and passionate situations. Instead, he has opted to remain in a position of control, to protect himself. It’s hard to know exactly what he has chosen to hold back and why; this is very individual and may be quite idiosyncratic.

Whatever is missing or well guarded is his area of insecurity. It could be that he’s fascinated by women whose behavior makes no sense and whenever he’s tried to get close to someone like that, he’s been massively hurt. Perhaps he’s got a long history of being/feeling neglected by the kind of person he’d like to have shower attention on him. But, he’s very picky: the woman has to be critical and cold to him in some ways for him to want her to be close to him. Maybe he was rejected by someone who was elusive, greedy and prideful. As a result, he’s determined to attract a person like that so he can figure out what he did wrong the first time around.

As a general rule, it’s very challenging and difficult to entice a known player into a long-term relationship unless you represent the exact mix of characteristics that appeal to him. The mix is usually peculiar and somewhat difficult. If you happen to have that blend naturally, you’ll be in with very little effort on your part at the outset. However, given the fact that both of you have complex issues, you could be in for something of a rough ride. Hopefully one of you is in the process of healing from some of the emotional stuff you’re carrying around and the other gets inspired. Then, you might be able to work towards a close, fulfilling relationship.

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