Friends with benefits beware.
Often enough one person wants a friendship with benefits as a means of safely, conveniently and comfortably having a sexual relationship. That individual is completely clear that he/she is not in love and will not be falling in love with the friend. But then the friend has other ideas. The friend wants a romantic and passionate relationship and hopes to transition the friends with benefits arrangement into just that. However, this needs to be something of a secret, to avoid creating a potentially unworkable and hopeless situation. The person who really wants the friends with benefits arrangement is probably actively seeking someone else who is relationship material. It should be fine to let the current friend know exactly that. But given what’s going on within him/her, it is devastating. It feels insulting, disappointing and hurtful. The message may very well come across as equivalent to saying the friend is simply not good enough and…Read more